2 days to go...

yet..im not happy. :-( sigh...life seem so tough. Maybe it's all my fault. ?Maybe it is not. I don't know what it is anymore. But what I do know is..sighh..I wish I could disappear, just melt away...like ice cream. Impossible isn't?

Guess sometimes we do things..just got to do it not for ourselves. And the stress of it is just unbearable. I don't know what to expect. :-(
I hope I don't get home sick or perhaps the get 'currency attack'! Damn!!!

I'm speaking in riddles but it don't matter..coz it simply doesn't! One damn few seconds call to the wanker..the inconsiderate fellow..gaawwwdddd....made me so mad! I still am until now! How many times have I been late to work and never complained? I put on the thickest skin ever and face the stare which says 'Damn bitch you're late again on Friday!!'...hmmph

Oh well...that's just the way it is..and again...I ain't happy....loads of things...full of shit...

hello,

it is almost a year now.. crazy i must say.

M.i.A....

Dear Gentle Diplomat...;-) Hola...
It's been awhile although you sit right behind me. Hmmm...what I mean is you have not written for what seems like ages. But I guess the pain you're going through is unbearable. Sure hope it gets better and those smelly, evil ulcers which are causing you to suffer disappears soon.

Anywayz...it's been a boring Tuesday. The sound of this one person talking non-stop is making me sick to the bones...it's like some drama going on. On a boring day like this, something that small could just be super irritating!!

The End Of The Road...

If you are highly judgemental then I suggest, don't continue reading...:-))) But oh well, it doesn't really matter anymore...

Well, could it possibly be the end of the road for the lady who had given birth to my mother? I sound super evil but I've lost the little respect I had for her a long time ago. I wish for no one to judge me or think of me as a heartless fool but either way I guess I don't really care. I have my reasons and I right now, I'm too tired to list them down. It just that it sucks that I took my mum to the hospital over the weekend and wow...I couldn't even get myself to sympathize even a little bit. Maybe the way things were before has made my heart hard as ever...I feel nothing for her. To make things worst, I was trying not to laugh...sighh....

I should be honest anyway..so yeah, I don't really care. Life was unfair and memories somehow kick in everytime I try to feel sorry. And just to set things straight, I drove all the way to the hospital just so my mum could see her and I would not regret anything. I would not want anything said about me for sure...like I drive and go places but could not take my mum to visit her mother in the last stages of her life etc. So, although I went all the way nothing changes..I still hate her...

I'm just writing crap down now cause I'm looking forward to going home. I'm tired as hell right now..all I wanna do is go home.

And also...the point is...ever had such terribly, sick memories that cause hatred? Oh well, the big C's would speak endlessly of forgiveness but sure you could forgive easily but could things actually be forgotten? Hell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

ridiculous Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's friday night and here I am working alone...thinking of all the awesome things I'd love to do on a Friday night.. *sob* *sob* And honestly I am really sobbing or at least it sure seems like it since my eyes are acting up and most probably it is conjunctivitis!! arrgghh!!! so yeah, that was just this afternoon which was spent at the hospital. It was more like a nagging session especially since I was having a miserable headache too. The doctor asking questions and going bla bla bla...so given a choice I would have told her to effe off and leave me alone! Since she said medicine should be minimized etc. It's not like I was on drugs everyday or every other day so with that pain I was feeling at that point, damn...she didn't have to be an extra pain in my arse!!!

It's an hour to go now...so guess i'm going to be counting the minutes....till it's time to leave. I'm going back to either watch Glee before I sleep or read my book. Charlie St. Cloud...it just became more interesting than ever. So yeah, I'm really looking forward to heading home. After doing either one of those, I'm gonna sleep till afternoon..:-))) oh yeah, doctor told me I have to wake up at 9am everyday!! effing crazy?!?!?!?!

I hope I dream tonight not of the doctor but of an angel somewhere out there...who ever it is...just anyone but someone who would make me wanna shoot myself...

wildest imaginations...

of drinking and having a ciggy in the office...wouldn't it just be great? well, thinkin of it makes me wish i was working at starbucks or probably ol skool. I mean of course i'll die faster but just for the sake of experience- think it would be duper cool!! But then again working at ol skool would mean my dad chasing me out of the house and calling me a skank!! :-))) can't imagine his reaction if i played a prank and told him that. He's just pure ol skool in with his ways and mindset so gotta live with it. So yeah, that's an experience I want but will never get the chance to have. by the way...ol skool is an ol cosy pub @ PJ, in case yr wondering...miahahahaha

www.ol-skoolbistro.com/content/history

Soo..its Tuesday and speaking of skanks..someone here is on emergency leave for probably the 20th time this year!! i'm thinking of people taking uncountable and probably untracked emergency leaves and medical leaves, how do they do that and still manage to smile at their payslips??!?! It's so unfair for those who work their arse out. But then again, perhaps it's an inborn disease causing them to be irresponsible.

half an hour....of crazy thoughts

Yea..it's half an hour to go before work ends and I'm thinking of all the memories of early 2010. It's already November, year's coming to an end and I must say that apart from some sad memories this year there have been GREAT things too.

1. Working where I am now...which is awesome most times!!!
2. Lil' NETJ...cutest thing ever was born 03.15.2010....definately taken over looks from his parents - beauty pagent MTA and eligible bachelor DTJ... hehehe
3. Oh...I was confirmed...hahahahaha...supposedly good but this is making me guilty now that I havent been to church for months. I will...real soon!
4. Made a huge step in my life which is should be good but it's now making insane...hoping to see the good out of it. I hope that'll be soon....
5. Hometown visit October 2010 which was AWESOME beyond words!!! Missing Grand Plaza, Post Laser Disc, Central, Tops and everything there....:-(

Oh well, before I get emo thinking about hometown...shall stop crapping right now...till next time, toodles...