M.i.A....

Dear Gentle Diplomat...;-) Hola...
It's been awhile although you sit right behind me. Hmmm...what I mean is you have not written for what seems like ages. But I guess the pain you're going through is unbearable. Sure hope it gets better and those smelly, evil ulcers which are causing you to suffer disappears soon.

Anywayz...it's been a boring Tuesday. The sound of this one person talking non-stop is making me sick to the bones...it's like some drama going on. On a boring day like this, something that small could just be super irritating!!

The End Of The Road...

If you are highly judgemental then I suggest, don't continue reading...:-))) But oh well, it doesn't really matter anymore...

Well, could it possibly be the end of the road for the lady who had given birth to my mother? I sound super evil but I've lost the little respect I had for her a long time ago. I wish for no one to judge me or think of me as a heartless fool but either way I guess I don't really care. I have my reasons and I right now, I'm too tired to list them down. It just that it sucks that I took my mum to the hospital over the weekend and wow...I couldn't even get myself to sympathize even a little bit. Maybe the way things were before has made my heart hard as ever...I feel nothing for her. To make things worst, I was trying not to laugh...sighh....

I should be honest anyway..so yeah, I don't really care. Life was unfair and memories somehow kick in everytime I try to feel sorry. And just to set things straight, I drove all the way to the hospital just so my mum could see her and I would not regret anything. I would not want anything said about me for sure...like I drive and go places but could not take my mum to visit her mother in the last stages of her life etc. So, although I went all the way nothing changes..I still hate her...

I'm just writing crap down now cause I'm looking forward to going home. I'm tired as hell right now..all I wanna do is go home.

And also...the point is...ever had such terribly, sick memories that cause hatred? Oh well, the big C's would speak endlessly of forgiveness but sure you could forgive easily but could things actually be forgotten? Hell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

ridiculous Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's friday night and here I am working alone...thinking of all the awesome things I'd love to do on a Friday night.. *sob* *sob* And honestly I am really sobbing or at least it sure seems like it since my eyes are acting up and most probably it is conjunctivitis!! arrgghh!!! so yeah, that was just this afternoon which was spent at the hospital. It was more like a nagging session especially since I was having a miserable headache too. The doctor asking questions and going bla bla bla...so given a choice I would have told her to effe off and leave me alone! Since she said medicine should be minimized etc. It's not like I was on drugs everyday or every other day so with that pain I was feeling at that point, damn...she didn't have to be an extra pain in my arse!!!

It's an hour to go now...so guess i'm going to be counting the minutes....till it's time to leave. I'm going back to either watch Glee before I sleep or read my book. Charlie St. Cloud...it just became more interesting than ever. So yeah, I'm really looking forward to heading home. After doing either one of those, I'm gonna sleep till afternoon..:-))) oh yeah, doctor told me I have to wake up at 9am everyday!! effing crazy?!?!?!?!

I hope I dream tonight not of the doctor but of an angel somewhere out there...who ever it is...just anyone but someone who would make me wanna shoot myself...

wildest imaginations...

of drinking and having a ciggy in the office...wouldn't it just be great? well, thinkin of it makes me wish i was working at starbucks or probably ol skool. I mean of course i'll die faster but just for the sake of experience- think it would be duper cool!! But then again working at ol skool would mean my dad chasing me out of the house and calling me a skank!! :-))) can't imagine his reaction if i played a prank and told him that. He's just pure ol skool in with his ways and mindset so gotta live with it. So yeah, that's an experience I want but will never get the chance to have. by the way...ol skool is an ol cosy pub @ PJ, in case yr wondering...miahahahaha

www.ol-skoolbistro.com/content/history

Soo..its Tuesday and speaking of skanks..someone here is on emergency leave for probably the 20th time this year!! i'm thinking of people taking uncountable and probably untracked emergency leaves and medical leaves, how do they do that and still manage to smile at their payslips??!?! It's so unfair for those who work their arse out. But then again, perhaps it's an inborn disease causing them to be irresponsible.

half an hour....of crazy thoughts

Yea..it's half an hour to go before work ends and I'm thinking of all the memories of early 2010. It's already November, year's coming to an end and I must say that apart from some sad memories this year there have been GREAT things too.

1. Working where I am now...which is awesome most times!!!
2. Lil' NETJ...cutest thing ever was born 03.15.2010....definately taken over looks from his parents - beauty pagent MTA and eligible bachelor DTJ... hehehe
3. Oh...I was confirmed...hahahahaha...supposedly good but this is making me guilty now that I havent been to church for months. I will...real soon!
4. Made a huge step in my life which is should be good but it's now making insane...hoping to see the good out of it. I hope that'll be soon....
5. Hometown visit October 2010 which was AWESOME beyond words!!! Missing Grand Plaza, Post Laser Disc, Central, Tops and everything there....:-(

Oh well, before I get emo thinking about hometown...shall stop crapping right now...till next time, toodles...

;)

Thrush from Gabriel Bisset-Smith on Vimeo.

well hello hello!

R.I.P...my friend

I hope that my friend would be back but sadly I got the news today that your life was taken by someone who was heartless. It hurts to think that the chances to meet was there but somehow it was taken for granted. If only I had the chance to see you before you left but it's all gone and I'm left with regret. If I could, this is what I'll say and maybe now that you're an angel above, you will read this....

...I look back and think of those times we had during college and not a single dull moment when you were around. Your smile and jokes never failed to brigthen the saddest day but now you're gone and there is not going to be any of those times again. It's sad thinking of your ex-girlfriend who is now my best friend and I have to hide the words you said the last time we spoke. I know you went away from this world with a broken heart but I guess you had your reasons and so does she. I wish I could have told you that she did love you very much and it was not her intention to break your heart. Now, I only hope that you managed to do the things you enjoyed doing while you were around. You will always be remembered in a special way and missed by everyone...till we meet again someday up in heaven. RIP dear YCM...

So yea...with a heavy heart tomorrow will be the last farewell for him...


Elsie,

though i dont know him, but reading through your entry..
he was surely someone wonderful.
thus, the video is something.. wonderful.
im sure he's now in a paradise island somewhere..

Villeneuve - The Sun (feat. Nili) from NoStress on Vimeo.

bittersweet...

migraine in my head and it ain't going away so here i am scribbling words to forget the pain. Today is one of those crappy, smelly and highly terrible down days when all I wanna do is curl up in a ball. You know that feeling? whoever you are? yeah well, im pretty sure you do. I can't wait for the day to end although there's nothing much to look forward to but well, there's always my bed, bear and book. The awesome 3 B's. That sound sad but yeah, sometimes that's just the way it is. Better days would come I'm sure and I hope but till then, I'll be patient and wait.

For now...all I sincerely wish is for this pounding in my head would stop and 2 hours would pass by quick....

till next time...when the day is brighter..
-just me with a bittersweet migraine

explosions in the sky!

i miss looking at fireworks.
and explosions in the sky happens to be one of my fav instrumental bands.
andd... i found this vid! with the band's song.. and fireworks.

i took pictures during the fireworks last 2 years ago. click here to check out. its not perfect tho.. but it was something i took on purpose..

and somehow, this guy manage to make it a whole vid.
i love.

Explosions in the sky. from Haik Avanian on Vimeo.

$$$$$ & absolute boredom

THB (my fav of em all), MYR, EUR, USD...the list goes on as I ponder the damages it could do to a relationship and I can't help but wonder why. I'm just sitting here thinking of how something that could be found as a result of hardwork come between 2 people who are in love. Is it something that's just so powerful to cause arguments that stabs so deeply. I recall many situations that $$$ caused a broken heart but I guess it just depends on how people react towards this lovely.piece.of.paper.named.Money. I mean think about it this way, if you're working, money is replenished at the end of every month but LOVE-if it starts to fade a lil after every argument...it will just slowly disappear. Plus true love is so hard to find so why does $$$ have to get in the way then? Oh well, maybe the situation I was in got me thinking about this. Then again, even marrying someone like Mr. Big, with probably loaded and endless supply of money doesn't make one happy so I guess maybe, it isn't that powerful...yada yada yada...

That's all I guess on my boring thursday. Sometimes there's just always something to complain about. When there is work it's super tiring, when there isn't (which is today's case)...it's boring as hell!!!

back after what seemed like ages...

..five days away from work just seemed kinda long and even more tiring than working days but guess I shouldn't be complaining much. Just relieved that my dad's eye op was alright and he is back resting. It was yet another painful experience watching him being pushed into the operating theatre and sitting there waiting with wild, scary thoughts running through my head. I guess i was shit scared thinking what if something goes wrong and being human, it was moments like that when I totally realize how much he means to me. Well, he won't be reading this for sure but yea he is indeed..the wind beneath my wings. Although he does exasperate me big time, life has changed in many ways now so I have learnt to accept the way he is now. Soo...just glad that he will be recovering from his eye op, slowly but surely.

Well, right now...I just wanna go home in a short while to read and sleep after a tiring day. Not too much tiredness from work but other stuff...so yea, relieved that the day is almost over...

Till next time.....

your secret's safe with me

this is breathtaking ;) and duper sweet.
i happen to stumble upon this vid on Vimeo. i have been posting too many vids today... but but.. i am just afraid i wouldnt be able to find it tomorrow if i dont post it today!

so yeah!

Your secret from Jean-Sebastien Monzani on Vimeo.

melt, is my heart.

tale of lies..

Could lies be considered as the most ultimate betrayal, a gesture of love or simply a result of fear? I guess I would say it's a result of fear since it's an act to avoid the truth which would cause fights or misunderstanding...still there should be no excuse. Anyway, why would it even bother anyone if I a lie was told since clearly, the truth would prevail slowly but surely!?!?! Well, everyone would have their own opinion on just LIES but I guess probably I speak from experience since fear has caused those lies to coming bubbling out...and as efficient as a bubble machine. Then again, mostly white lies since many were told to me as well so I sent what came around back in circles.

Maybe the day would come and I'd realize...it's no biggie after all and probably many more out there might just feel almost the same..

i wish

i can dance, and make dancing my lifelong career.

yet another awesome vid to share.

IRC dance movement from . on Vimeo.

disaster topped with lil joy?!!?

Full of nothing but sloppiness I am today but oh well, just looking forward to the long weekend and I kid you not but this time around, 3 days is going to feel like probably half a day! So much to do yet so lil time....why??? If only those awesome moments last longer but I guess that's just the way life is. Good time flies and misery last longer than desired. Once I survive the next two days, I know I could breathe as normal and at least rest for two days before things start getting crazy again. Life was never easy as it is and now it's worst but, I am gonna make it better soon...and look forward to heading back to lovely hometown... ;-)))

oi!

today's thursday! and i know somebody's off early for the weekend! pffft! and i only get to enjoy half hour of morning today.. since i woke up 1130. and who bloody thinks that 1130 is morning? the sun was soooo up and shooting!

and.. as the lady-mayor of Cyberjaya.. below vid would be my ever hopeful dream for the city, soon to be. kaching!

Alone in New York from Giuseppe Vetrano on Vimeo.

telinga saya perlu subang baru.
notice the word?
:P

awesome luck....

Oh well,after what seems like ages of arse luck finally i've made it big with my lovely rm3.50 from office poker!! That should call for a celebration but thinking of my night later, I can't even come close to chilling with a latte or reading the Last Song. Sigh...due dates..F*%king due dates from the crap I got myself hooked on. I guess sometimes we make decision that we ever so often regret and there ain't no turning back at all. Or is there turning back? Nahh...there isn't any for some cases. Guess that's all for the first of many more...Cheers

the first!

to post an entry to this blog!
E's on winning streak?
wth!

:P